A touching Audio slide Show from Virginian-Pilot about me titled Peace of Dawn
http://hamptonroads.com/2007/12/peace-dawn
Click the link below to watch Dawn's Inspirational video
of her and her service dog Devoted!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLsTi9TSIYU
Christmas 2010
August 2011
Update coming soon!
The past few months have brought many changes in my life. Mike had orders to report to his new duty station, in Georgia, a few months ago. Even though I had been preparing for this, over the past year, I did not take to this news with enthusiasm and I prayed to God for guidance and to keep us in Florida a little bit longer. I knew God never gave more than a person could handle, but I could not stop myself from questioning this. Moving away from the security I had in Florida was overwhelming; I cried almost all my eyelashes out when I found out. I was about to face my biggest fear of all since my injury. For the first time, the person whom I have leaned on and counted on for all my insecurities was not going to be at my side everyday; Mike was not going to be there to help me during my most troubled days. I knew I had mentally tried to prepare myself for the time Mike would go back to a deployable unit, but when I learned that his new unit was one of the highest deployable unites in the Army, I froze in fear. Those that know both Mike and I have seen that Mike is my security blanket; I have grown to count on him during my darkest hours; but also, I have looked for him during the days where I was at my best. I was flooded with fear and I wondered if I could do this huge task, on my own, that was ahead of me and my family.
Before I knew it, I found myself in my van, all packed, following Mike in the moving truck. It was a seven hour drive to Georgia and my sister met us about an hour from our new home to take over the driving. It took us about a month to settle in. The day that Mike had to report to work crept up on me sooner than I would have liked. To be honest, I knew it feared Mike just as much as it did me; I kept a smile on my face, giving a false security, or as much as I could to make it easier for him and my girls. I was able to share those first few weeks of Mike being in his new unit with Kayla and Destyni at my side; my mother instincts come out and I forced that same smile on my face to show my girls I was going to be okay. I knew they needed that security and needed me as their mom to guide them. One of our first outings, without Mike, was to Kayla’s open house. I think I was just as afraid as Kayla going to this. I felt as if I was the new student entering the room with all eyes on me. Being in a cramped hallway with tons of children and their parents made it difficult to move around in a wheelchair, let alone, see above the 12 year old heads. I wheeled in the unknown area with a smile and a sense of unsecure confidence. I am great at finding words on paper, but in life I find myself looking to Mike at times to pick up where I struggle to find the words. I wondered if I could find that same strength I found the night I fought so hard for my girls. I said a quick prayer asking for the strength and peace before taking a hold of my girls hand and once again faced a simple task that brought anxiety and fear within me. I found it to be not as bad as I thought and I left Kayla’s school feeling as if I just completed one more step in my marathon. After the girls started back at school and Mike was gone all day, I began to realize that I could and would be okay. I began to see my old me spring to life and I leaned less and less on Mike. My confidence began to creep its way inside me and I started to peek out from under my security blanket. My next task, to cross off my list, was to try to go out of my house on my own. In two years I have driven and gone out without Mike, but I have always had my girls or someone with me. This time I needed to do it alone. I needed to get over that fear you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize you’re in a situation that is life threatening. The feeling as if acid is burning through your stomach. I sat and thought about how my life was before May 2, 2007 and how I thought nothing about going out alone; I thought about how four individuals stripped my security right off me and left me naked, frozen in time, with fear. I knew I had come a long ways from that night, but I also knew I had still to overcome so much more. I knew the day had come; I woke up and told Mike I was going out to take care of some errands. Again, I forced a calm and secure confidence on the outside for Mike to feel at ease with this new task. I knew he would always be there for me holding my hand, but I knew I this time I would need to do this one on my own. He supported me, but I knew it was hard for him to let go a little and let me do this without him by my side. My day took me to Wal-mart and then Hobby Lobby. To many that sounds like a normal thing, but we celebrated this accomplishment with a party of the four of us and we shared the tears together as a family; it was indeed a huge stepping stone.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a Butterfly!"
Sep 28 2008
Our summer flew by so fast;
I can not believe it is already Fall! I still
have those moments when I feel like this is all a
bad dream, and I am trapped in a cocoon trying to
get out to spread my wings and fly; however,
for the most part I see myself as a beautiful
woman whom simply is unable to walk. I see
myself as a number one mom to my girls
and wife to Mike. I have an amazing family and
wonderful friends and I know one day I will have
an amazing career! I remember when I
was in rehab; I lived there for 3 months and
it was a place where I felt
most comfortable after my shooting. It was a
place where I could laugh and cry and be that happy,
silly, and goofy spirited girl I have always
been. Part of their therapy was field
trips; behind this idea was to introduce their
patients back into the real world. One of my
first trips was to an ice cream shop; at that
time I had very little control of my hands
and was in a power chair. As we approached the
store, I found the area packed
with people. I froze in place. The store was not
very big and I knew people would have to move out of
the way for me to even get in it. I kept
thinking I was not ready to be out in public; I was
not ready to face strangers in my chair. I felt out of
place and indifferent to the world; I missed the old
me. Emotions of shame and embarrassment
flooded through me. I noticed that there
were double glass doors in the entrance; yet, one of
them was shut and would not open. I knew my
chair would not fit inside with only one door open; I
stopped and whispered to mike to go in the store
while I waited outside. This gave me an excuse to
not go in and face my fears. I remember having
Mike by my side coaxing me to go into the store;
telling me everything would be fine. I was
so embarrassed and no matter how hard I tried to hide
my emotions and put on a strong face, I found my
eyes swelling up with tears. I did not want to
cause a scene or have all the people around see me
cry. I sat there and thought I wished I
had Mike's courage; I wish I did not worry about
others opinion of me. After a lot
of coaxing, I agreed to Mike asking to see
if someone could help us open the door. To my surprise
the manager was happy to help. He even told me
that I inspired him and he had been meaning to fix the
door and thanked me. I lowered my head and said thank
you. As I went into the store, I had one gentlemen
hold the door for me. Again, I lowered my
head, more embarrassed than anything, and thanked him
too. In the back of my mind, I thought I was such a
strong and independent woman before May 2, and
now I cant even open a door for
myself. I sat in the back corner of the
store counting the seconds until I could go back to
the Shepherd Center, my rehab, and
quietly ate my ice cream. It has been a
year since this happened; yet, I remember it
like it was yesterday. Looking back, I
now know I began healing that day I faced my
fears in the ice cream shop; I began to mend my
pieces from kindness of faces I had never
met. Indeed, it has taken some time until I
learned to go out in public and hold my head high with
a smile on my face, and not be embarrassed of how
I am! I have stopped counting the
days as being "post injury"; I have stopped worrying
about what people think when they see me in
my chair, and I try to look at each day as simply a
new journey in my life. However, I still have my
moments when I miss my strong body I used to
have. I still miss the crisp air passing by me during
my morning jogs, and how strong my muscles in my
legs were. Their are those days when I miss dancing
with my daughters to our favorite song on the
radio, or the cute jeans and high heals I wore, but I
still am that fashion diva I was born to
be..lol! Indeed, I will never give up
on my body completely healing and I will always
believe. Spiritually, I have come to see that I
have grown in my faith and my trust in the
Lord. I have learned to forgive the kids who
shot at me and my girls that stormy night. I felt in
order for me to move on with my life, I needed
to let go of the negative feelings and
anger.... not to dwell on the past, but rather, live
for the future. I knew in order to be there for my
girls, I needed to be free of such feelings.
Forgiveness allowed me to be that independent girl I
once was, and I felt as if a ton of weight lifted
off me...I felt free once again. I have learned
what is important in life, and I I feel blessed
more now than I have ever been. I know one
day I will be free of my chair and will feel the
sand under my feet...until then, I will keep
doing what I have been doing all
along....living an awesome life.
Our summer began with an opportunity of a life
time. My family and I were asked to be
on a special show titled "mom's dream come true"
on Live with Regis and Kelly. The show was to honor
Mothers for Mothers day. It all began when Mike, my
husband, wrote a letter to the show and it bloomed
from there. I had no clue that a letter was
written until one of the producers surprised me at my
house. I was so surprised and honored to be asked. I
wished I knew they were going to surprise me on camera
so I could of prepared and looked my best lol...but
that would not have been a surprise. Before I knew it,
I found my family and myself on a plane destined
to New York. As Mike carried me from my
chair into the plane and to my new seat, for at
least the next few hours, I was overwhelmed with
emotions. I thought about my last plane ride which
brought me back to where this journey began on May
2...where anxiety; yet, determination filled my
entire body. I did not look forward to those next
few days in the courtroom. Then, I thought to
myself...this trip would be filled
with happiness and new memories for me and
my family's life. We were able to see
central park and experience a lot New York
had to offer. After checking into the hotel, our
first stop was to experience my girls
favorite....New York Pizza. For once, since I left
rehab, I felt like I fit in like I did before I was
shot. It was awesome! The next day was filled
with shopping followed by taping the show on Regis and
Kelly. The producer previously had asked Mike
questions of some of my dreams. When I was surprised
at my house I was told the show was giving us
as a Disney Cruise for the family; Mike and
I thought we were appearing on Regis and
Kelly to tell our story and receive the cruise
prize. We had no clue what the show had planned for
us. As I sat in the famous "green room" I worried
how I would look on camera...lol a girls usual worry.
It was an emotional day and I was excited to
share, with the world, my story in hopes that
maybe I would help one person. That maybe my
family's courage would show one person that life can
be okay when a curve ball is thrown in the picture. We
sat in the green room for most of the show
and was not able to see the other mom's
stories. Then it was our turn to go on stage; I
heard Regis and Kelly talking about me and the
girls and I wheeled out on stage with
my family. I sat there
and watched this beautiful piece that
the producers put together and tried my best not
to cry. It was an amazing experience and we are so
blessed to be able to have the opportunity to visit
such a wonderful place.
During the summer my girls were able to go to a
gymnastics camp, balcony, where they had a blast
and continue the go for gymnastics. My youngest,
Destyni, is now 7 and in second grade and my oldest
Kayla, is almost 11 and in 5th grade.They are
wonderful girls whom have overcame so much in
life. They truly are my heroes and angels; I
thank God every day for allowing me to be their
mom! Kayla is part of the safety patrol in school
and wears her badge proudly...lol...it is cute.
Destyni still loves to be on my lap for free
rides and is a top student in her class. They are
doing good in school and have put the past behind
them. Indeed, they are brave girls, and I am so
proud of them! Mike, where do I begin. He has shown me
to be brave and strong; yet, has been there for me, on
one knee, during the times I needed a shoulder to cry
on. I will never forget the times he was my personal
hair dresser, during my stay in rehab, or during the
times when he would pluck my eyebrows when my hands
were to weak to hold the tweezers. He has comforted me
during my hardest and most painful days; yet, pushed
me to keep going on those days I was to weak to
try. He has been there with me through it all.
Mike is my hero and I adore and love him with all my
heart. I have come a ways, but still have
much more to overcome....with time, determination,
hard work, and patience I will succeed in my
dreams. I give this credit all to my father...for he
has always taught me that I can do anything I set my
mind to. He taught me if I fall to get back up and try
again and to overcome it. I am blessed to have such an
amazing and strong family. I continue to gain strength
and learn easier ways of getting things done. My
pain has eased some; I have accepted my pain may never
go away, but I have learned to
tolerate it better. I still continue to
gain new movements and slowly gain more muscle
control. Recently, I have found that I gained
more control over my lower back muscles and am able to
move my hips. Having control of my hips enables me to
roll over by myself. I now am able to readjust
myself in my bed to avoid pressure
sores! My hands are stronger than ever and
I am doing things I never thought I could do after I
was shot. I am helping out a little more each day with
Mike and cooking for our daughters and helping keep
the house clean. In time my goals are to be that
independant mom, wife, and gal I once was. I am
taking online classes and have a couple more years
until I graduate. I still gleam from ear to
ear during the times I accomplish the little
things life has to offer. Our family bond has
grown stronger than ever before, and nothing has
stopped us from doing the things we have always done.
This is something my family has taught me....and this
is what I hope we can teach others. After I was shot,
I was once told the best thing I could do for me and
my family was to live life to the fullest; to not
to let my paralysis control my life..... to keep
fighting and teach my girls never to give up.....this
is my story....this is my life....this is my families
courage! I thank God every day for my blessings!
Thank you! I do have a myspace page if anyone would
like to visit http://www.myspace.com/kepbelvn
good
will
always prevail..... JUST BELIEVE!
Apr 21 2008
Wow....I can not believe it has been almost
a year since all this has happened. Indeed,
the last 11 months have been full of obstacles,
hardships, and learning experiences. However, through
all the trials, I have seen kindness and love that I
will never forget; I was speechless when strangers, as
well as my loved ones, came together to offer their
support. I can not put in words of how
grateful we are for everything. May 2 is approaching
fast and I can't help but recall last year at this
time my life was extremely busy; just coming off spring
break and getting back into my normal routine of school
all day. Followed by nightly mom duties, working out,
and ending with studying until 2 in the morning and
I absolutely loved everything second of
it. I never thought in a million years
life would throw me such a curve ball. Now my
normal routine is slower, but my heart and
mind are still that fun, strong headed,
perfectionist, determined, and goal setting Dawn I
have always been. Time still has its way of going
by as if there were only a few hours in a day. I
continue my daily workouts....I remember in rehab
laying in bed with two broken arms and not being allowed
to do any weight bearing...each day I gave my doctor the
puppy eyes to allow me to start to lift weights...it
never worked...but I tried. I continue my therapy
and up until a couple days ago I was in the pool three
to four times a week. Not thinking, I set my
laptop on my lap and the bottom of it burned my leg
and am currently unable to swim. I finally
got my mustang modified and am back behind the wheel
driving like a wild child. For the first time in
almost a year I drove my girls to school and it
felt so good to be able to see my girls off to school
again. Driving with hand controls took a little bit to
get use to...but once you do...it is a breeze. It is not
the same as having a van I can wheel into on my own
and go about the day...for I need help getting my
wheelchair in and out of the mustang...but I am lucky to
be able to drive once again. Also, I have been working
on using braces....it is a goal that may take some
time...but I know it is possible. My body continues to
heal slowly and I still gleam like a kid in a candy
store when I accomplish new obstacles. My pain
is still there and some days are worse than others;
however, the pain has improved compared to the
first 4 or 5 months after my shooting. I remember
every day I asked my nurse how much longer will the
pain be there...it was always the same answer, "it
takes time Dawn" and I gritted my teeth and tried
to hold back the tears until I could no longer.
I was told when the spinal cord was
burned, like mine, the nerves become angry and
held grudges....that the pain will fade but might
not ever go away. I am grateful my pain level
has eased some. Both of my index finger's pain has
completely gone away; I assume the nerve endings
healed....this gives me hope for my other fingers, but
if not I am so grateful to have the use of my arms and
hands and fingers! My sensations from my chest down
are slowing coming back, but I still can't feel hot and
cold....hence my huge burn on my leg! LOL.
Emotionally, I guess one thing I worried about the
most was people not being able to see past
my wheelchair..... to see I am the same as
before and actually in some funny way better than
before may 2,2007. I have learned this is a worry
I need not concern about. My dreams and goals have been
altered a little, but I still dream of getting back on
the track and running my weekly 10 mile runs in a
special wheelchair designed for racing; instead of being
a RAD technician I have decided to go for a radiologist
and most importantly I am still here teaching my two
girls the important things in life! THANK YOU for your
support and prayers for me and my family.
Dec 16 2007
These past months have been the longest and hardest I have ever experienced; yet, they have brought my family and friends a closeness we will treasure forever. The bonds I have with my closest friends have became stronger. I have struggled through the physical and mental battles of being a quadriplegic; through the materialism of my appearance in today's society, and wonder what is my spiritual calling and reason I survived. My life was wrapped around my daily 10 mile runs and 72 laps in the army pool; I strived to be the fittest I had ever been; my goal was to experience a triathlon by my 31st birthday. I saw myself as a 5'9 beautiful woman; I loved how all the hard work I done sculpted my body and now I can barely get one leg into my size 8 jeans. I read an e-mail I recently received and this gentlemen worded perfectly how I see myself now...he explained how he too loved to run but because of his struggles with cancer it left his body a shell of it's former self....indeed these bullets that pierced my body did the same. These struggles will be a part of my life to the end, but I know as time continues they will get easier. I still strive to be the fittest as my body allows, to look as nice as I can; yet, life has a different meaning now. There were times I laid in my hospital bed and wondered why bad thing happen to good people; why the loving God I grew to know and love would let such tragic events happen. I now know he can not intervene and stop our free will he gave us; yet, he try's to make good thing come out of a bad situation. I now know there is a reason I survived 5 bullets.
It has been seven months since that night on May 2 and I have tried to prepare myself on seeing these four kids who held guns to my head once again; this time I knew they could not harm my family and that they had to face their crimes and be punished. Their sentencing was fast approaching and on the plane ride to Virginia I wondered how my girls would act upon seeing these individuals in the courtroom. Thursday December 13, 2007 I found myself on the witness stand starring straight in the eyes of what I called my enemy; I did not let him intimidate me the night of May 2 and I was determined not to let him do it to me that day either. For the next 3 sentencings I found myself doing the same. I learned that the reason one of the shooters fired at me and my girls was because he did not want us to identify him; I faced one of the robbers mother whom was sincere and apologetic about the choices her son made that night. I had my closest friends there supporting me during these crazy days and I am grateful that they were able to share these days with me...that they were there to support me and my girls....THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!! These sentencings were intense and left me emotionally drained, but I am glad they are over and I can put them behind me. The two shooters got life plus 173 years and the other 123 years. Afterwards, I was asked a questioned that left me emotionally in turmoil....was justice served with the judges decision. I was left without any words and wondered how I should feel about it. I finally realized these kid's lives where also changed and even though they choose their destiny, they too will have their own demons to face. Is this Justice...I am unsure of these, what I do know is I must continue on my journey and never look back.
I still have limited function in my hands but they have gotten much stronger; feeling has come back in my stomach and I have some sensation to the touch of my legs. This feeling however feels numb and as if my body fell asleep and is waking up...this is my new feeling and sensation. My pain continues and my body has learned to tolerate it; however there are nights I am left bed ridden from the pain. I am up to lifting 40 pounds and, with my husband holding my legs in a push up position, doing 81 push ups. I continue with healing my body and learning how to live on my own. I will never have the energy as I did prior to the event and get tired easily, I now live a slower life. I am ready to start driving again and to go back to school. I have beat the odds and I am grateful to have lived.
Aug 11 2007 - Dawn's own words
I would like to begin by saying thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. I am almost done with in-patient care and will continue with outpatient care for a while. I have gotten much stronger, but still have a ways to go in gaining strength. I count all my blessings every day and have realized how fragile the human body is...for I never thought I would ever have to face such a challenge in my life. However, the most important thing I have learned is to appreciate all that God has given you...never take that for granted. I am lucky to have such a supportive family and friends to help me through the difficult times. I am learning how to do new things each day...you would not believe how hard it is to get dressed, but it gets easier each day; however it still takes almost 30 minutes to do. As my fingers get stronger my typing gets better...my handwriting however still needs work...I am lucky enough to have the ability to still have the use of my fingers. I would love the pain in them to go away...one day I hope. Kayla and Destyni, my two girls, are doing good....they are getting ready for school to start. They will continue to live with their grandparents until I finish outpatient care. I miss them so much...this is the first time I have ever been away from them...so these past few months have been difficult being away from them...however they are only 6 hours away so they have been here to visit three times...which I have treasured. I have not been able to move my legs yet but have increased sensation in them...especially in my right leg. I am able to tell which direction my right leg is in without looking which is a huge accomplishment for me. I had increased sensation in my back, however on my front side I still cannot feel from my chest down. So in God's time maybe one day I will be able to feel more or/and walk again. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.
Dawn has a long road of recovery ahead of her
and we ask for everyone’s prayers while she goes
through her long stage of recovery and physical
therapy. Her and
her family greatly appreciates all the support
everyone has given to her in her time of need.
To help the Weiss family please go to donations.
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